She was strong, capable, and deeply grounded in who she was. A promotion was on the horizon—a big one. But with it came an unspoken expectation: She need to be more assertive.

And that’s where the conflict began. If she softened her leadership style, it felt fake. If she stayed as she was, she worried she’d be perceived as harsh. Would her team trust her? Would they feel safe around her? Would they follow her? These are the questions so many leaders ask but rarely voice.

Now, business coaching isn’t about giving answers. It’s about helping you organise the truths you already hold.

So when she asked herself, “Should I be more authentic and risk being ‘too much’…or fit in and lose a part of myself?”, I knew we needed to explore both sides.

“What does it feel like to lead as yourself?” I asked. “Empowering,” she said. She wanted to give her team autonomy. Treat them as equals. Maintain healthy boundaries and lead with clarity.

“And the alternative? That feels like wearing a mask,” she admitted. She feared losing control, being seen as a pushover; she feared diluting her identity.

So I asked, “Is there a way to stay in control and stay true to yourself?”
After a pause, she said, “If I can listen, ask questions, and guide instead of always answering…
my team will feel empowered. And I’ll feel grounded.”

Not nice. Not rude. But kind.

Kind is honest. Kind respects boundaries. Kind holds people capable without losing authority.

Her leadership didn’t need a makeover. It needed alignment.

And if you’re navigating a similar shift, I want you to remember: Leadership isn’t a performance. It’s an evolution: one honest conversation at a time.

Found this helpful? This might be the reminder you needed to step into your next chapter.