When Anu* came to me, she said she wanted to “work on her communication.”

She was leading a team, taking on bigger responsibilities, and wanted to be more assertive when she communicated expectations.

Naturally, she began where many people do: her language.

She told me she had studied in a Marathi-medium school, and that unlike her British colleagues, her English “wasn’t polished enough.”

As she spoke, her sentences were clear. Her thoughts were structured. Her intention was sharp.

So I mirrored that back to her. “I understand you perfectly,” I said.

She smiled gently and replied, “Because you’re Indian. You get what I mean.”

So I asked her, “What does me being Indian have to do with how well I understand you?”

She paused.Then said softly,

“You don’t judge my English.”

It wasn’t about grammar anymore. “So you feel your colleagues judge your English?” I asked.

She exhaled deeply. “You know, Goldie,I’m tired of worrying how they’ll react… every time I have to make an ask.”

Slowly, the real issue revealed itself. It was not language, but fear.

Fear of being misinterpreted.

Fear of being disliked.

Fear of being judged for simply doing her job.

“You started with English,” I said to her. “But now you’re speaking about their reactions. What changed?”

She thought for a moment.

“To be assertive, I need to focus on the message… not how it lands.

But I keep worrying a team member might complain to my manager.

I realise… I still care too much about being in everyone’s good books.”

And there it was: her core belief. A value shaped in childhood, reinforced through culture, and now spilling into her leadership.

Our session ended with a quiet but powerful awareness: That sometimes, what we call a “communication issue” is actually a belief asking to be rewritten.
And this is only the beginning of her work.

If you’re curious about what beliefs might be shaping your leadership, consider this your gentle nudge to explore deeper.